Who Is The Story About? (Hint: Jesus flipped this all around!!)
We all do it. We make the story about us. It's human nature for us to think ofĀ our part and forward how awesome it is.
In marketing, it is common for the product or service to be the main character in the sale. We hear things like, "Our _________ will be the answer", or "We have the best __________". (I've done this before comparing our coach training to others...)
StoryBrand teaches that theĀ person being coachedĀ needs to be the main character. When a brand offers to help you be a better you, to serve you in some kind of way, you are much more likely to buy in rather than when they tell you how amazing they are. If something, or someone, truly wants to serve us, it is so different!
Sound familiar? Kingdom culture is like this!
Jesus said He came into this world "not to be served, but to serve". Honestly, this makes me kind of sad. He deserved/s to be served!!Ā
Good coaching is about serving! It's not about coming in to save the day with the coach being the "hero". It's about provi...
What Does Success Look Like To You?
If you take Coach Training with Bridges you will learn about Active Listening and Asking Powerful Questions. We'll talk through defining someone's focus and teach you how to assist with making SMART goals- quality action steps, but we hope that the BIGGEST TAKEAWAY for all our trainees is our definition of success. Put simply:
Success is an active relationship with God.Ā
Completing an accomplishment is great. Good Coaching certainly helps people with forward movement, but as believers achieving goals cannot be our primary motivation. Our worth is not in whether or not we get "there" or get "that" done in our lifetime, our worth comes from our adoption into the family of God. It comes from our connection with a settled place with our Father in eternity.
At Bridges Coaching when an action step does not result in the desired outcome we say, "'Failure' is good research." But true "failure" is notĀ having a soul connection with God. His Spirit is in us longing for connection.Ā
When we pr...
Who Offers Them A Plan... GOOD NEWS! (and hard news...)
Wouldn't you just love it if you could see someone who would just tell you what to do when you were in a jam? If they were sage and savvy and could come through every time it would be well worth the investment.
GOOD NEWS! (and hard news...)
Here's the skinny. We DO have Someone we can go to for the plan! Our plan! Our personal best next steps!
The Holy Spirit IS our Guide! The coaching conversation helps us discern the plan God has for us.Ā Proverbs 4:11 says, "IĀ amĀ guidingĀ youĀ in the way of wisdom, andĀ IĀ amĀ leadingĀ youĀ on the right path."
Experience tells us it is not that easy though. So the good news is we DO have a Divine Guide, the hard news is we have to grow in learning how to discern. I don't know about you, but I swing that pendulum back and forth. Sometimes I am so sure that what I am sensing is the plan turns out not to work out. Does that mean I missed it? Or was it just a test? Other times I am paralyzed with concern or fear, or the cost seems too high and the decision ...
Who Meets A Guide (who understands their fear)
Let's review our first steps in comparingĀ StoryBrand marketing and Coaching.
First, we talked about how the conversation needs to be about the person being coached. They are the main character in the story we are writing together.
Next, we talked about the problem. One of the big differences between a coaching conversation and just "friending" is that we are purposefully focusing on a chosen outcome that the person being coached wants to focus on!
Next up is today's focus: who meets a guide who understands their fear.Ā
Here are some of theĀ fears that good coachingĀ helps peopleĀ recognize:
- feeling stuck with no way out
- not knowing what to do, or even if there is anything that can be done
- feeling abandoned by God and others
- questioning if there is even hope for the future
In Bridges coaching, we talk about the Always Circle and associated lies. There's ALWAYS going to be stuff. God ALWAYS offers a plan. We ALWAYS make choices. Uncovering the associated lies is like realizing ...
Donald Miller, StoryBrand & Coaching
Donald Miller first came on the national scene as the author of Blue Like Jazz. A movie was recently made of the book so you can catch that if you like, it's sad and may make some angry, but it's his story and was part of his journey to becoming a thought leader in explaining and understanding how people make decisions.
Today, Miller leads a marketing company called StoryBrand. He builds a premise for forwarding products that takes a refreshingly different, and surprisingly kingdom-minded, approach.Ā
We'll be taking a look at how the StoryBrand approach is in many ways similar to a good coaching session.Ā
In essence, Coaching is helping someone write the story they want to live.
What's your story? Are you who you want to be?
How about those around you? Those who look to you? Are you helping them write their stories?
Here's a quick overview of StoryBrand. (I found this on google, so I think it is okay to share it, but want to include a plug for the book by the same name, truly som...
It's All About The Timing Orientation (N & S in Myers-Briggs)
People are so different! God designed us that way :) Learning to discern how we were designed and how others differ can be one of the most valuable insights we can have personally. (You can learn more in our Destiny by Design course!)Ā
Our focus today is the N and S orientation in Myers-Briggs. What does the N and S stand for? I'm so glad you asked.Ā
N = Intuitive (since they already used "I" for Introversion they chose "N" for Intuitive.)
S = Sensor
Here are the definitions.Ā
Intuitives are future-oriented. They think about what could be. Sometimes they live in a world of what could be, or even what should be. They are often dreaming or thinking of how things should change to move things toward a preferred norm. Intuitives may have a more difficult time living in the present, being content with things as they are, or sometimes even celebrating incremental change. They usually live in the future more than the present and want to implement change through innovation.
Sensors are pr...
4 Reasons I Don't Really Like Coaching...
Bet you didn't ever think I would have a list of reasons titledĀ "Why I don't really like coaching?"
(And why God has better plans than me.)
Here is the honest truth.
1) I would rather have someone tell me what to do. It's hard work having to discern on my own. It would just be easier to have a go-to person who would talk out loud to me and give me step-by-step instructions.
(Turns out God wants a personal relationship with me and for me to have a growing adult relationship with HIm.)
2) I want to be that person for others all the time. I want to tell them what I think. I often feel people are being too risky, or taking too long to move forward, or not counting all the costs... a dozen things. It would be way easier to just share my brilliance than to help them discern the next steps God is guiding them toward.
(But what if? What if their risk tolerance is higher than mine because God made them that way and He IS guiding them toward that choice? What if I am being impatient with t...
Questions of Jesus - when there could have just been a tell...
Let's continue our study on how Jesus regularly used questions. (He also really liked stories - are you seeing that?)
Here are some of the questions Jesus used when He could have just made statements.
Then Jesus said to them,Ā āI ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath day: to do good or to do evil, to save a life or to destroy it?ā Luke 6:9
Ā
They had no money to pay what they owed, but the banker told both of them they did not have to pay him. Which person will love the banker more?ā Luke 7:42
A pair of my personal favorites that we talk more about in coach training:
One time when Jesus was praying alone, his followers were with him, and he asked them,Ā āWho do the people say I am?ā Luke 9:18
Then Jesus asked,Ā āBut who do you say I am?āĀ Peter answered, āYou are the Christ from God.ā Luke 9:20
Let's take a closer look at this last example for today. Jesus is talking to the man we know as the rich young ruler who asks Him what he must to to inherit eternal life and Jesus ...
Do You Really Want To Go There?
Core Competency #8: Facilitates Client Growth
Coaching is all about choosing a targeted focus, exploring options, and setting SMART goals to move forward, but it's not always a straight line from here to there.
Good coaching goes under the surface and helps the client with more than simply what to do. A masterful coach assists their client by helping look "under the hood" so to speak. Helping someone understand why they are hesitant or worried or not good at counting the cost can be just as helpful as choosing action steps. Probably even more helpful.
If we can come alongside someone as they probe the depths of who they are, we can provide a safe place to nurture what is lacking, heal where there has been hurt, uncover unhealthy thought patterns and more.Ā
I've seen this in my own life. When I uncovered my tendency to skip the discerning part of the WorkingĀ Genius productivity modelĀ Ā I saw how I had invested so much time, and even money, into projects IĀ never really bothered to di...
What Kind Of An "Aha" Are You Looking For?
Coaching Core Competency #7: Evokes Awareness
Have you ever heard people talking about an "Aha" moment? They look different for different people and even different for the same person at different times.
Here are a few I can think of:
- "Oh, that's what I should do!"
- "I see now, I am believing a lie, that's what has been holding me back!"
- "Yeah, I need to wait on that."
-"What if I just started with one small step?"
-"Maybe I should get some help with that."
These are all actually "Aha" moments I have had personally. Here are a few more:
"I see a pattern here... IĀ have thought that before."
"Oh! God wants to reveal Himself to me in a new way here!"
"I think I just need to try it and see if it works."
Aha moments are most often preceded by two things: a powerful question and space to talk it out.
The Coaching industry uses the words "powerful questions", at Bridges we often say "empowering questions" and lately I have been taking it a little further and saying "insightf...